quotes from friends

"If people had lowered expectations when they met me, I think I'd have more friends."

"There's no doubt that I'll see you again soon. And there's no doubt I'll bitch about you again soon."

"He's a street urchin who needs my love."

"You have woken up in an alley before. Let's just be real."

"What kind of expensive operation do I have to get to get laid in this
town?"

"I saw her dancing on that pole, and I knew she'd be okay with my addictions. We got that out of the way right away."

"There are some things you just shouldn't have to say. Like, 'Hey, you really need to go down on me first.'"