i wanna be some raddichio

The universe is wondrous. As it is getting to be the time when I begin to obsess in earnest about all things Halloween, I met a wonderful, spirited man (who does like his spirits) called James who owns an amazing costume shop. He seemed to love me within five minutes of our knowing each other, which gay men are wont to do with me, and he told me that he can get me outfitted in an award-winning get-up for an amazing price. He can do a really intense Little Miss Muffet, or he has all the 80s stuff that would make a good Flashdance-era Jennifer Beals. I told him I wanted to be a man but he seemed really keen on getting me all femme'ed out. He thought I had a nice body, and let's face it, I love anyone who thinks I have a beautiful body! Anyway, he has everything you can imagine, going back to the 18th century. HE EVEN HAS A SPECIAL SECTION FOR FRUIT AND VEGETABLE COSTUMES. I'm almost afraid to walk into this place, because I think I might implode.