"I barely recognize the Republican Party today. In the Republican Party that I was active in, it was really a party of moderation. What I think the party is dominated by now is a radical philosophy."
- John Dean, former Nixon White House counsel, to Mother Jones.
15 October 2004
so bloody wrong
Take a moment to view this short movie about Bush's rhetoric, lies, and fear tactics. It's from the Daily Show, so you know you won't regret it and you know it'll be damn funny.
10 October 2004
word of the week
Shitfest. Has a nice ring, yes? As in, work this week has been a real shitfest. As in, the Costco in Santa Cruz had a shitfest of holiday crap the first week of September. As in, Hey check out the shitfest known as the 2004 Presidential race. Or, focusing on some phony docs used on CBS when there are so many other brutally phony things going on is quite the Grade-A shitfest. Or how about 25 states having to decide on constitutional ammendments to ban gay marriage being a total fucking utter shitfest? See? It works, doesn't it?
09 October 2004
an open letter to the eldest cat of our household
Where to begin? I want you to know that I'm not writing this to berate you in any way, only to further our communication.
I feel I need to tell you something in this letter that I do not seem to have been able to communicate to you in person. I'm not sure how to say it so you'll hear me, so I'll just come out and say it as simply as I can: You will not get tuna everyday. This won't happen, not ever. You will get it once every couple of days at best. I know that you have tried to tell me, to explain how you think you need tuna every single day. But you see, this desire for daily tuna is a want, not a need. I need for you to start distinguishing between those two things.
I feel like it's time to be open about this - the neurosis is reaching epic proportions. You watch me cook my own dinner (ok, fine, I realize that "cook" is a gross misrepresentation) while you have your perfectly good kibble in your bowl. I always buy for you the brand you like and I always listen when you tell me that the level of said kibble is not quite at the level in the bowl that you would like it to be. In short, I keep you in darn good kibble. And I might as well just say it - the precision with which you watch my every move in the vacinity of the kitchen is a little disturbing. You're always waiting, always obsessing over that moment when I might go to the tuna cupboard. Take a look at yourself. Is this how you want to be?
Also, I wonder what is up with the Spawn. You seem to manage to avoid her at all times, which on most levels I applaud, because it saves everyone's nerves I think when we can avoid any contact with her. However, when your little brother gets into trouble, I really... well, I don't see you rushing to his defense in any way. I don't expect you to take on the Spawn yourself, I just... I guess I would just like to see you get out there a little more, show your brother some support. Yes, I know he is adopted. But sooner or later you're going to have to accept that he's your brother no matter what, and he's stood by you through thick and thin. Hasn't he? Hasn't he endured your bullying and taunting? He's a good boy, and he doesn't eat much tuna. Think of what it must feel like for him, living forever in your shadow.
I truly hope you'll think about what I've said, and save your responses until after you've had time to let it sink in. Thank you for listening.
Mama
I feel I need to tell you something in this letter that I do not seem to have been able to communicate to you in person. I'm not sure how to say it so you'll hear me, so I'll just come out and say it as simply as I can: You will not get tuna everyday. This won't happen, not ever. You will get it once every couple of days at best. I know that you have tried to tell me, to explain how you think you need tuna every single day. But you see, this desire for daily tuna is a want, not a need. I need for you to start distinguishing between those two things.
I feel like it's time to be open about this - the neurosis is reaching epic proportions. You watch me cook my own dinner (ok, fine, I realize that "cook" is a gross misrepresentation) while you have your perfectly good kibble in your bowl. I always buy for you the brand you like and I always listen when you tell me that the level of said kibble is not quite at the level in the bowl that you would like it to be. In short, I keep you in darn good kibble. And I might as well just say it - the precision with which you watch my every move in the vacinity of the kitchen is a little disturbing. You're always waiting, always obsessing over that moment when I might go to the tuna cupboard. Take a look at yourself. Is this how you want to be?
Also, I wonder what is up with the Spawn. You seem to manage to avoid her at all times, which on most levels I applaud, because it saves everyone's nerves I think when we can avoid any contact with her. However, when your little brother gets into trouble, I really... well, I don't see you rushing to his defense in any way. I don't expect you to take on the Spawn yourself, I just... I guess I would just like to see you get out there a little more, show your brother some support. Yes, I know he is adopted. But sooner or later you're going to have to accept that he's your brother no matter what, and he's stood by you through thick and thin. Hasn't he? Hasn't he endured your bullying and taunting? He's a good boy, and he doesn't eat much tuna. Think of what it must feel like for him, living forever in your shadow.
I truly hope you'll think about what I've said, and save your responses until after you've had time to let it sink in. Thank you for listening.
Mama
06 October 2004
"I ALWAYS vote. It's hard because it's so dreary in those places. People dress badly. It's decorated badly. Try to pick up people when you vote. I tell college kids that when I'm lecturing. I say, 'Dress provocatively.' Cruise. Touch yourself as you pull the lever. Do things to make it more interesting. How else are we going to get young people to vote? They think it's dull."
- John Waters in the New York Post
- John Waters in the New York Post
28 September 2004
the presidential debate drinking game
Now you can actually enjoy the series of presidential debates, starting tonight.
When either Kerry or Bush say any of the following, guess what, you get to get a little more schnockered.
"Make no mistake" -drink one shot
"Iraq" -drink of beer
"Hence" -only Kerry will say this since Georgie doesn't know what it means. Have a drink of beer
"Weapons of mass distruction" -drink of beer (a small drink, you don't want to pass out too early)
"Irresponsible" -drink one shot
"The American people" -drink of beer
"Well, I'll tell you..." -total stalling mechanism. You should have time for two good chugs of beer
"When I'm president" -drink one shot. Dear god, is one of these clowns going to be our president?
"Now is the time" -drink of beer
"Manufacturing jobs" -drink of beer
"Hard-working families" -drink of beer
"Our great nation" -drink of beer
and finally...
"I'm not going to stoop to that level" -take two shots and go to bed. Politics are tiring!
When either Kerry or Bush say any of the following, guess what, you get to get a little more schnockered.
"Make no mistake" -drink one shot
"Iraq" -drink of beer
"Hence" -only Kerry will say this since Georgie doesn't know what it means. Have a drink of beer
"Weapons of mass distruction" -drink of beer (a small drink, you don't want to pass out too early)
"Irresponsible" -drink one shot
"The American people" -drink of beer
"Well, I'll tell you..." -total stalling mechanism. You should have time for two good chugs of beer
"When I'm president" -drink one shot. Dear god, is one of these clowns going to be our president?
"Now is the time" -drink of beer
"Manufacturing jobs" -drink of beer
"Hard-working families" -drink of beer
"Our great nation" -drink of beer
and finally...
"I'm not going to stoop to that level" -take two shots and go to bed. Politics are tiring!
26 September 2004
yet another reason why capitalism shouldn't go unchecked
Wal-Mart sent out a letter or as we say in marketing an "image piece" to California residents late last week. They've got a tv ad campaign as well. This company is so fucked up that they have to grovel to the people in order to build more stores.
They promise that every family in Southern Cali, where they seem to be concentrating their expansion efforts, will "save at least $589 per year" with the presence of one of their "supercenters." Right. Because... what? Every family is supposed to shop there? They actually expect that? BECAUSE THERE WON'T BE ANYPLACE ELSE TO SHOP? They have the gall to say this when they are facing literally dozens of discrimination and ill-treatment lawsuits and do everything they can to keep their employees from being represented by a union? They have the gall to say this to communities that are willing to do just about anything, including unseating their entire city council, to keep the slimeballs out of their areas? Bastards. I know I have tried many times, but I don't think that I will ever be able to express the intensity of my hatred of this boil on the butt of America.
They promise that every family in Southern Cali, where they seem to be concentrating their expansion efforts, will "save at least $589 per year" with the presence of one of their "supercenters." Right. Because... what? Every family is supposed to shop there? They actually expect that? BECAUSE THERE WON'T BE ANYPLACE ELSE TO SHOP? They have the gall to say this when they are facing literally dozens of discrimination and ill-treatment lawsuits and do everything they can to keep their employees from being represented by a union? They have the gall to say this to communities that are willing to do just about anything, including unseating their entire city council, to keep the slimeballs out of their areas? Bastards. I know I have tried many times, but I don't think that I will ever be able to express the intensity of my hatred of this boil on the butt of America.
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