They both come from conservative and very traditional families. In spite of all the dysfunction on both sides, they really came away from their respective upbringings with a strong sense of what a family should be: American, nuclear, Protestant, possessing of mortgages... and fully delineated by gender.
I continue to be astounded by just how different my childhood was from my brother's. To this day, I hear stories about adventures he had that I never got to share or even know about. I missed out on a lot of fun and independence. My brother went on camping and hunting trips, got to slide in the mud with ALL THE OTHER neighborhood kids in the winter, could ride his bike wherever he wanted, played all kinds of sports, climbed trees, had himself a BB gun, and all the other cool toys like erector sets, Legos, Star Wars action figures, etc. I spent as much time in his room as he would allow, making landing strips for the Millennium Falcon or playing Battle Ships.
In contrast to my brother's veritable wonderland of all things cool, I spent a lot of time with my mom and grandmother, learning crafts, painting, sewing Cabbage Patch Kid clothes (seriously), antiquing, playing with my Barbies. Come to think of it, I had a rather large wardrobe for my Barbies, and while I dug all the ballgowns and such, one of my favorite things to do was to dress my favorite one in her red sweatshirt, jeans and hiking boots - and she would go "hiking" in the backyard. Hah.I wasn't really allowed to play sports, and as a result have almost no hand-eye coordination. Sadly, throwing and catching are terrifying to me. That ball may as well be a Tomahawk missile aimed straight at my head.
I really like the idea of playing some softball at the park or something. I briefly tried my hand at basketball, without my parents knowing, since I love the sport so much, and even that was hard. Consistently dribbling the ball while making one's way up court may seem natural to some. But it was my Everest.
I've always had a wistful admiration for those for whom athletics comes easily. Phys Ed was no doubt a fun time at school for such people, and never a cause for panic attacks in the locker room. How nice that must be, to be able to have fun like that, not even thinking about looking like a fool.
Similarly, I have almost no aptitude for anything remotely mechanical. I consider myself an intelligent person, capable of deconstructing elaborate concepts, but a particularly sophisticated door handle can cause an undue amount of distress. When something breaks, I ask someone else to fix it. My attempts to understand these things over the years have caused some frustration, so I would kind of rather someone do it who will not lose their head over it.
These things leave me feeling inadequate. I'm just not quite the prepared, capable woman I should be. It's gotten better over the years, for sure, and I've tried to pay attention whenever I see someone manipulating physical objects in such ways as to not injure themselves -- this has helped immensely.
I'm not really sharing all this because I feel like whining -- though it may sound like it. It's my guess that I'm not the only one out there, male or female, who feels this way. I think that's why I've had a connection to certain types of gay men my whole life - the ones who were pushed toward Boy Things and never had a natural inclination for them.
Heck, I think I've always just had an affinity for people who are different.
